GWAR - Election Deathmatch - Alex Hura

My first concert ever I went to a GWAR show, and that was two years ago. It set my standards really high, and nothing was ever the same again. Sadly, during the show I had food poisoning and had to go vomit in the nasty 9:30 bathroom. People thought I was on drugs.
But last winter I was able to go to another show and stand in the front row of this infamous concert. The two bands preceding the GWAR performance weren’t to my tastes (although my favorite band Ensiferum was supposed to play but ended their tour a week earlier), though I supported them nonetheless because the rest of the concertgoers didn’t know what Heavy Metal was about. But right before GWAR came onstage, the club filled to the brim, as everyone wanted to come to the forefront with their white t-shirts. You could easily spot the noobs who didn’t bring white shirts, and though they were excited, they did not know what was going to hit them in the space of a few minutes.
The show began with a video explaining the nights events in an utterly obnoxious way followed by a countdown. People were starting to get pumped, and all the big assholes were pushing towards the front. The countdown ended and a minute of silence followed and everyone started to chant and some got pissed, but just as people started getting obnoxious the band members in their giant costumes mounted the stage and started blasting their tunes. The lead singer, Oderous Urungus in his spiked armor and the giant Cuttlefish of Cthullu dangling between his legs sang his rude lyrics while the bassist, wearing his armor and the bear trap around his head banged his head to the tremolo picking. The music itself is awful, with too much volume and few complexities; the lyrics to one speak about committing another Hiroshima. Suffice to say, it’s all about the show. All the characters wear costumes of some plastic material with tubes of food coloring in their vital areas that were promptly hacked apart, torn off, and generally mutilated. For example, first thing that happened after the singer started singing, a doll of baby Jesus was hacked in half and blood from the corpse sprayed the first row down in a shade of red.
The theme of the show was the election as it was an election period, and during the course of the show I was sprayed with fake blood from Hillary Clinton’s breasts, blue fluid from Barack Obama’s privates, and green fluids from a disemboweled John McCain stumbling around the stage.
GWAR insults every establishment, both religious and otherwise, the year before I remember a Mohammed with a lit bomb on his head was on stage yelling Jihad, and fans really get beaten up at the show on account of the packed venue and the violent songs. Bruised faces, bloodied nails, and people covered in all manner of colors of water based paint were all that emerged from the 9:30 clubs show. This time I hadn’t needed to vomit, but I was looking like a scary person the entire metro ride home. If you want to get really ridiculous, the GWAR show is a great place for it.